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RISE AND SHINE
THE WINDOW
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Saving All The Seats
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."MORE JOKES
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Letters
Home From The Dog
A few months ago we got a puppy. For most people that would be where the story ends. But I got to thinking, if that dog could write a letter to it's former owner, what would it say. I think it might go something like this
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Read "LETTERS HOME FROM THE DOG"
Is You Child Old Enough to Learn a Musical Instrument?
The decision of just when your child is old enough to learn to play a musical instrument is difficult and can be expensive. Here's some tips that may help you decide.
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If you haven’t noticed, in the past few years half of the women in the world have all of the sudden fallen in love with vampires. They’re everywhere: movies, books, bumper stickers, posters, screen savers, cell phone skins, in fact, there’s a good chance that your wife or girlfriend is trying to hide one in her closet.
Now vampires have walked among for us centuries, but something’s changed. Today’s vampires are simply fabulous. It’s enough to make a mere mortal man wonder: how is a flesh and blood, non-vampire like me gonna compete with these guys. They never need sleep, can travel about 900 mile per hour, they sparkle, (yep sparkle) and have ice cold skin (I really don’t get the appeal of that one). If that’s not enough, you should see them play baseball.
Art offers dating advice to a young man with a dating question.
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