Lately I’ve been thinking about the NFL and how much money these guys make. Now I understand that you have to be a pretty good football player to make it in the NFL so I guess they deserve to millions of dollars they make. But then I found out something else…the guys who own these teams make EVEN MORE money than the players, and they don’t even have to be able to play football !
Well, I’m no fool. I thought about it and decided “hey, how hard can it be to own one of these teams maybe… I should start me an NFL team”.
I was pretty sure that it wouldn’t be that hard. You just get you a place to play football, hire yourself a few good players, have some girls stand on the sideline and cheer for them, and the next thing you know, you’re sitting in your forty foot hot tub watching your team slap the living daylights out of Peyton Manning.
So I called the NFL network and asked if there was anyone there who could assist me in setting up my own team. You know, I needed someone to give me a price on buying players and uniforms and such. They apparently misunderstood my question, because they just told me to log into NFL.com and I could sign up for a fantasy team for free. I tried that, but I couldn’t figure out just how I would get paid. I decided I would do this thing on my own
I figured I could probably get most of what I needed from Academy Sports so I dropped by to see if I could apply for a credit card, because I didn’t think I had enough money to buy all the equipment I would need up front. Let me tell you, the young man who they had waiting on me must work on commission, because he grinned like a sweating mule when I told him I would be buying at least 53 uniforms with pads and helmets. I also asked if they sold cheerleader uniforms.
There were a couple of young ladies who were shopping there so I figured that I might as well get down to the business of recruiting girls for the cheer team. I asked if they would like to step back to the dressing rooms and try on some uniforms. They seemed to be in a hurry to leave after talking to me, but they did send the store managers over to speak to me. He suggested that I not solicit girls in his store. I’m not even sure what it means to solicit, but I’m going try not to do it.
The next hurdle I had to overcome was just where do I get my football players. I’d heard that the pro teams usually got them from college. Well one thing’s for sure, the University of Alabama and Auburn always seem to have pretty good players, so I decide to look there. I drove to Auburn and sure enough, that place was crawling with healthy looking young men. I knew I was at the right place. I also figured that this would be a good place to find my cheer girls.
I’m not precisely sure what I did wrong, but to make a long story short, I’ve been banned from visiting the Auburn campus. I was beginning to understand why the NFL guys make so much money. It’s harder than it looks to put a team together.
Well after being banned from several universities in the southeast, and also being banned from several sports supplies stores, and having been turned down when I requested a $500,000.00 line of credit to get me started. I decided to stick to what I do best.
Yep, all of my fans can relax, because I’m gonna be here commenting on things, giving advice, and dispensing the kind of general information that you’ve come to expect.
So ’til next time – this is Art Farzee – Good Day